Stay Attuned ™: The E-zine for Nourishing Connections

Your journey to freedom from food and weight struggles presents an opportunity for not only a new relationship with food, but also a new relationship with yourself and others. Ultimately, it is a journey of nourishing connections with yourself, others--and yes--even food. Stay Attuned ™ is committed to supporting you in this journey and to helping you develop nourishing connections that will last a lifetime. Remember, a journey always starts with one small step….

From fellow travelers,
Karin and Amy

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Nourishing Nuggets

"Wisdom tells me I am nothing; love tells me I am everything.
Between the two, my life flows." ~An Indian Master

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically—to say 'no' to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside." ~Stephen Covey

Reflections for Staying Attuned

How much is enough? How much food? How much weight loss? How much love, attention, success? Our culture encourages us to believe that if we get enough, we will be enough. So we keep trying to get more-- more love, more attention, more success, more weight loss. But it never seems to be enough to make us feel better.

So, how do we know and experience how much is enough?
It is through “self-fullness” that we will recognize and trust how much is enough, how much is not enough and how much is too much. Self-fullness will help us to know how much to eat, how much to achieve, how much to take, how much to give—and how much to give to ourselves.

Self-fullness is a concept that may be easier to grasp at first by knowing what it is not. Self-fullness is not selfishness.

Selfishness is being concerned only with oneself. Dieting, or restricting, tends to promote selfishness. When we ignore hunger and avoid foods that give us pleasure, we are distracted by these unmet needs and wants. We are less available for true connection with others and may feel disconnected and lonely.

Selfishness often causes us to take in without "digesting." We take in food, kindnesses, success or ideas without getting nourished by them. Because we take in without digesting, we feel like nothing is enough, and we are left "hungering." Ultimately, we come to believe that there won’t be enough (food, love, money). We develop and live with a poverty consciousness.

Self-fullness is also not self-lessness.

Self-lessness is having or exhibiting a lack of concern for oneself. It is guided by "shoulds" and "supposed to's" and is supported by the belief that love is earned by taking care of others' needs. It is being less than who we really are. What is communicated to others is, “I don’t matter,” and this is often exactly how others will treat us. Self-lessness often results in quiet, unexpressed anger. We are left hungering from not "feeding" ourselves in the midst of "feeding" others. We are left depleted and undernourished emotionally. We develop and live with poverty consciousness.

Self-fullness is having a positive regard for oneself and acting upon it while being connected to and respectful of others.

Self-fullness is the sane place between selfishness and self-lessness. It is putting on our oxygen masks first and then attending to the mask of our child (or ailing parent, or friend). Self-fullness is possible when we tune into and attend to our needs, wants and desires; create space to meet these needs, wants and desires; and set and hold boundaries around this space.

When we feed ourselves, we are not left hungering. We have enough. When we take time to receive and digest what is given to us, we are nourished. When we give and receive in relationships, when we savor and share success, we are nourished. And, when we feed ourselves with attunement to hunger, satiety and food preference, we experience
self-fullness.

Initially, self-fullness feels uncomfortable. "I can’t possibly say no; she needs me. That would be selfish!" However, self-fullness is necessary if we are to develop nourishing inter-dependent relationships. With self-fullness, we come to fully experience "I am enough. I am not too much. There is enough for me." With self-fullness, we live with abundance consciousness.

Stay Attuned Tip

Look at your To Do's for this week in the context of available time. Tune into your energy, feelings and interest levels related to each item. Consider saying "no" to one item or one person on the list. Simply say, "I won’t be able to."

Stay Attuned Affirmation

"I say yes to my self."

What's New at Nourishing Connections

Read Martha Beck’s advice about how and why "you don’t have to Be There for all people all the time" under Articles at Nourishing Connections.

Feedback and Closing

Welcome to our new subscribers, and hello to current members! Stay Attuned™ exists for you. If you have ideas for topics or feedback (did you try an idea? how did it go?), please write us at ideas@nourishingconnections.com.

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Stay Attuned™ is written by Karin Kratina, PhD, RD
(Dr.K@ nourishingconnections.com) and Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW
(amyt@ nourishingconnections.com). Edited by Cassie Tuttle.
Please visit us at www.nourishingconnections.com!

© Copyright 2005. Dr. Karin Kratina and Amy Tuttle. All rights reserved.

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DISCLAIMER: This information is not intended to constitute a professional relationship between Karin or Amy or the reader, nor is it intended as therapy or counseling. Be sure to consult a qualified professional if you require medical or psychological services.
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