October 2005 |
It Seems Easier To Be Told What To Do |
Nourishing Nuggets
"War requires at least two sides. When you decide that you will listen to yourself and not to your calorie counter or your fears, there is nothing to rebel against. There is nothing you can’t have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today." ~Breaking Free by Geneen Roth
"[Wom]en
seldom, or rather never for a length of time and deliberately, rebel
against anything that does not deserve rebelling against."
~ Thomas Carlyle
Reflections for Staying Attuned
We follow these rules initially because we have been told that we must in order to be healthy and attractive. We are told that these rules are the “solution” for our unhappiness with our bodies.
But these very rules end up making us feel out of control. Whereas before our first diets, we rarely suffered from "deprivation-driven" eating, after we started dieting, we developed intense food cravings and food preoccupation -- and possibly binging and weight gain. No one tells us that dieting causes these things, so it’s no wonder that when the diet fails us, we still believe that certainly more food rules will help.
We find the food rules becoming increasingly stringent. At the same time, we become more fearful that there is no alternative.
But there is something else going on in the background that makes this feel even scarier -- we each have a deeper knowing self that rebels against these food rules. This rebel self hates the imposed rules, hates the constraint and hates the disrespect of these simplistic solutions. This rebel self knows that these rules are based on false "facts" presented as truths and is insulted that these rules are not connected to our true needs. This rebel self is tired of the disrespect implied in, "Just follow this diet, it’s easy to lose 10 pounds." The rebel self will rebel. " This is not what I need. I don’t want to do this. I’m not going to do it. In fact, I’m going to do the opposite."
This rebel self, which often feels destructive, is actually in tune with our internal guidance systems. This rebel self knows -- better than any diet rules, better than any professional -- exactly what and how much we need to eat and when to stop. This rebel self knows that self and body trust is not only possible, but also the only sane approach to eating. "I know I’m full now. I need to figure out how to cope with these difficult feelings without using food."
So, although it may seem easier to be told what to do, and although
the rebel self may overreact with overeating out of spite sometimes,
the core of its reaction is
"Don’t
insult me with imposed rules."
And that is worth listening to.
Stay Attuned Tip
This week, tune into your "gut" reactions to choices and decisions you make with food, in relationships, at work. Can you hear the rebel? What truths about your needs and feelings is the rebel declaring?
Stay Attuned Affirmation
"My rebel self is wise and worth listening to."
What's New at Nourishing Connections
We are recommending a book that just came out this month, Taking Up
Space:
How Eating Well and Exercising Regularly Changed My Life, by Pattie
Thomas.
Don't let the title fool you -- eating well and exercising is not what
changed Dr. Thomas's life. What changed her life and allowed her to
begin taking up space in the world is much more profound than changing
food intake and exercising. Taking Up Space is among the best
books on the costs of stigma for fat people and society. Written for the
"average reader," it is sophisticated, funny and touching. It is a
must-read for all people of size and people of all sizes! You can order
it at:
http://www.pearlsong.com/takingupspace.htm.
Feedback and Closing
Welcome to our new subscribers, and hello to current members! Stay Attuned™ exists for you. If you have ideas for topics or feedback (did you try an idea? how did it go?), please write us at ideas@nourishingconnections.com.
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Stay Attuned™ is written by Karin Kratina, PhD, RD
(Dr.K@
nourishingconnections.com) and Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW
(amyt@
nourishingconnections.com). Edited by Cassie Tuttle.
Please visit us at www.nourishingconnections.com!
© Copyright 2005. Dr. Karin Kratina and Amy Tuttle. All rights reserved.
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DISCLAIMER: This information is not intended to constitute a
professional relationship between Karin or Amy or the reader, nor is it
intended as therapy or counseling. Be sure to consult a qualified
professional if you require medical or psychological services.
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