Stay Attuned ™: The E-zine for Nourishing ConnectionsYour journey to freedom from food and weight struggles presents an opportunity for not only a new relationship with food, but also a new relationship with yourself and others. Ultimately, it is a journey of nourishing connections with yourself, others--and yes--even food. Stay Attuned™ is committed to supporting you in this journey and to helping you develop nourishing connections that will last a lifetime. Remember, a journey always starts with one small step.... From fellow travelers,
Nourishing Nuggets"The Code is more what you’d call guidelines than actual rules. " Reflections for Staying AttunedDo you have the “good child syndrome?” Those of us who learned early on what the rules were, and then, did our best to follow those rules, may still be suffering from “good child syndrome.” Some rules certainly were and are important. Knowing and following the rules may have given us a planned way of dealing with life and, in theory, removed uncertainty about what to do in a given situation. Following the rules may have even saved our life at some point! However, no set of rules can cover every situation. If, consciously or not, we are still trying to follow the rules, we may struggle because our behavior is not working in a given situation. We may feel helpless and at a loss as to what to do. We may feel angry because the world is not following the "should" script that we learned long ago. Ultimately, we can end up unhappy and not know why. Sadly, research shows that “good children” often find themselves less prepared for adulthood—they are more likely to feel overwhelmed and have a harder time adjusting to change. If we frequently decide what to do based on whether we “should” or “should not” do it, we may be suffering from “good child syndrome.” If we also often feel guilty or frustrated, we may be doing things because we believe we "have to," not because we want to. It is easy to see how the “good child” can be transformed into the “good dieter” –the one who follows someone else’s rules to manage eating and weight, the one who ends up feeling overwhelmed, guilty and frustrated. The rules are supposed to work. But often they don’t. Unfortunately, as the “good child,” we blame ourselves, believing we have not followed the rules well enough. What if, instead of following rules, we are open to listening to what is going on inside of ourselves? What if we choose how to act by increasing our awareness and elect to do things based on our inner answers and the consequences? Rather than being kind to the slow cashier because we “should,” what if we are kind because we desire the consequences of being kind? Rather than avoiding chocolate cake after a satisfying meal because we “shouldn’t eat it,” what if we choose not to eat it because we prefer not to get uncomfortably full? Or, what if we choose to eat the cake now, not because “I’ll follow the diet tomorrow,” but because “It is homemade, and I know it tastes wonderful. In fact, I’m going to sit here without distraction and really enjoy it.” Where have the years of trying to eat as we are “supposed to” gotten us: feeling guilty and frustrated and eating the very things we are “not supposed to!” Attuned eating shows us how to eat based on choosing the consequences we want. As we allow ourselves to eat whatever we want without judgment, we become more discerning --not because we “have to,” but because we are able to see, understand and experience the consequences of our eating actions, and because we desire specific consequences. We want to feel in sync with our bodies. We want to feel comfortably satisfied, not unpleasantly stuffed. We realize that candy in the middle of the afternoon on an empty stomach does not feel so good; but leaving some room at lunch and having some then can be quite enjoyable. Rules will not guide us to these consequences. The answers are inside of us! So, throw out the rules and the shoulds, reduce guilt and frustration, and let’s get tuned into our inner answers. Are you ready to give up the “good child syndrome?” Stay Attuned TipNotice today how often the “good child” is in charge, floating rules through your head about what you should eat, what you should not eat, how much you should eat, how much you should weigh, and what you should look like. Imagine one meal free from the rules, guided by your inner answers. Stay Attuned Affirmation"I empower my 'good child' with my inner answers ." What's New at Nourishing ConnectionsMore Health at Every Size (HAES) messages from Gina Kolata in The Bicycling Paradox: Fit Doesn’t Have to Mean Thin. Maybe one day, people won’t make assumptions about body size, as some – who were ultimately surprised to find that larger people could be fit – did in this article. And not on our site, but possibly of interest to you, is an analysis of how breaking rules was so critical to the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. How would you have felt, while watching the movie, if you knew that rules were being broken? What is it like to reflect upon that now? Yes, it is all a fairy tale, but what a great way to consider how life would be if some of our rules were more like guidelines.Feedback and ClosingWelcome to our new subscribers, and hello to current members! Stay Attuned™ exists for you. If you have ideas for topics or feedback (did you try an idea? how did it go?), please write us at dr.k@nourishingconnections.com. Spread the WordFeel free to forward this E-zine to others. We just ask that you keep the E-zine intact, including contact and copyright information. For any other use, written permission is required. And thank you for sharing Stay Attuned™! Subscribe or UnsubscribeTo subscribe (to join), email join-stayattuned@list.nourishingconnections.com. To unsubscribe (be removed from list), email leave-stayattuned@list.nourishingconnections.com. Delivery Problems If you experience delivery problems, check here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Stay Attuned™ is written by Karin Kratina,
PhD, RD © Copyright 2007. Dr. Karin Kratina and Amy Tuttle. All rights reserved. ~~~~~ DISCLAIMER: This information is not intended to constitute a professional
relationship between Karin or Amy or the reader, nor is it intended as therapy
or counseling. Be sure to consult a qualified professional if you require
medical or psychological services. |